Push Presents. As in, presents given by fathers to mothers for pushing out a baby. For anyone who hasn't heard of this practice I suggest you read this New York Times article about it.
I will admit that I never heard of Push Presents before today, when I randomly happened upon the term on a website completely unrelated to anything dealing with maternity/childbirth (it was actually part of a fan fiction prompt on a livejournal community I frequent). Curious, I looked it up online to find out what exactly the term meant.
In short, Push Presents are meant to be a "reward" or a "thank you" that the father gives to the mother to demonstrate gratitude for the nine months of pregnancy and the child birthing process. No one is quite sure how the practice came about, but it is on the rise in the USA. Theorists suggest that the rise in popularity is due to modern fathers being more sensitive to the intense physical toll pregnancy and childbirth take, leading to them feeling the mother of their child deserves some sort of recompense in exchange. Another suggestion is that it stems from the growing assertiveness of the modern woman, saying what she wants and expecting to get it. The most common Push Present is diamond jewelry or some other form of luxury item that the mother wants.
Fathers demonstrating appreciation for the mother's self-sacrifice is of course a good thing, but I'm not so sure how I feel about the practice as a whole. I'm not the only one. In some ways it points to the growing materialism of our culture when a mom wants the father to give her Tiffany's & Co. jewelry or designer bags rather than help by taking over the chores while she is recovering. Should a mom be 'rewarded' for having a baby? Offering understanding, appreciation, and support are one thing, but is 'paying' the mother for her effort really the right way to go about it?
Despite the fact that their popularity is increasing, it seems to me that Push Presents are clearly a phenomenon of the privileged upper middle class. Who else can afford diamonds when the family suddenly has another mouth to feed? Is a father a bad father or an unappreciative father simply because he does not (and perhaps cannot afford to) present his wife with a gift in exchange for the birth of his child? If Push Presents gain enough popularity to be seen as "the norm," surely assumption will be that he is. The New York Times article even mentions this problem, pointing out that some fathers feel pressured into giving a Push Present by the mother and her friends. Usually mothers drop hints or even outright demand Push Presents from fathers, pointing to the materialistic nature of the practice rather than the appreciative nature which would result if the fathers gave the mother a present without being prompted to do so.
In short, Push Presents are gaining in popularity but with popularity comes controversy. What perhaps started out as a gesture of appreciation is all too swiftly losing its initial meaning. Restricted to those with money to afford such presents, fathers of the lower class will be left to face accusations of being unappreciative. Or at least, that's how it seems to me.
What do you think about Push Presents? Have you given one? Received one? Would you want to?
